Friday, March 1, 2013

A Moment of Silence

4 weeks ago my husband's father started feeling ill.

3 weeks ago he was admitted into the hospital with pneumonia.

2 weeks ago we were told he was in the advanced stages of liver disease and that even if he did pull through the illness, he only had months to live.

12 days ago we were told he had hemorrhaged into his brain and was mostly brain dead.

11 days ago, in the early morning hours, we received a phone call that confirmed our worst fears... he had gone into cardiac arrest and died.

In loving memory of Pap
November 2, 1948- February 19, 2013

 It took 4 weeks for a strong, 64 year old man, husband, father of 3, grandfather of 10, to slip away from us. As hard as it was to see this person that has been a part of my life for the past 16 years leave us, it was even harder to see him leave my mother in law, my husband...and my children. Their pain has been all consuming. My father in law's death was too sudden and unexpected. We never actually believed he wouldn't walk out of that hospital, even as the neurologist sat across from us and told us he had little brain function. It was like a scene from a medical drama. Surreal and crushing. Tears, denial, and anger all in one room.

   I've never met a person like him. He was always busy, always working. He was proud of what he could create with his two hands and he was good at it. He loved his grandchildren with all his heart but he loved his wife even more. He gave her everything. He was my mother in law's best friend. Her life. They would have been married 37 years this month. At his memorial this past Wednesday we struggled to deal with the fact that he was gone. My 4 year old asked me when God was going to be done fixing Pap and was concerned with Pap's transportation from Heaven back to Earth ("He can't jump, it's too high!"). My girls cried that they missed him. My oldest has found some small comfort in his spirituality, proving to be much more mature than the adults around him ("I'm not sad for Pap, he's with Jesus. I'm sad for us because we can't see him anymore.") He will be greatly missed and we may not ever adjust to life without him.

 And now I'm going to write a post about my dress, because this is a sewing blog. It seems weird to transition from what I just wrote to smiling pictures of me wearing a pretty dress, but after all the saddness it was nice to pretend for a little that everything was ok.

 The dress code for Pap's funeral was casual. He was a simple man. I needed something to keep me busy in the days after his passing and so I decided that my girls and I needed black dresses.

 I concentrated on finishing the girls' dresses first (a post on those coming soon) and so when I was finished with theirs, I had one day and 4 yards of black cotton sateen to make mine. I poured through my patterns trying to find something that was fairly simple with a minimal amount of pattern pieces. My daughters' asked that I have a bow on my dress to match theirs.

I finally decided on Simplicity 2444.

Simplicity 2444
 Simplicity 2444
I cut a straight sz 12- my normal size for Simplicity patterns. The dress came together quickly and easily. The only modifications I made were to cut the ties on the straight grain instead of the suggest bias- to save yardage. I also inserted a regular zipper instead of a lapped.

Simplicity 2444

Simplicity 2444

Simplicity 2444

Despite the tragic circumstances surrounded the creation of this dress, when I got dressed up to photograph it today, I decided that I love it. This pattern is a dream. The pleats, the bow tie, the bodice darts (which are hard to see on this black dress but trust me, are amazing!).

Simplicity 2444

I wore a different bra when fitting this dress but when I took pictures today I forgot and wore my usual one. The difference is significant, making my bust appear much fuller and pulling at the neck. When I'm wearing my other undergarments there is no pulling.

Simplicity 2444

Simplicity 2444
I have a couple of FOs photographed and ready to go, so I'll talk soon! <3


Sarah said...

jamie--i'm so sorry. i'm sitting here crying because you've described your pain beautifully. he sounds like just the kind of person i would love to have known. how wonderful to hear your sons response...he understands that our only comfort is the grace of God. praying for your family. the dress is beautiful as always and i saw your instagram post of the girls dresses. they are lucky to have such a talented mother.

Jamie said...

Thank you so much Sarah <3.

Cari Homemaker said...

It's a lovely dress, but such a sad story to go with it. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Salma said...

I'm so sorry for your loss :( The dress is gorgeous!

Shannon said...

This is a lovely dress!!
I'm so sorry about the loss of your father in law. We lost my husbands father unexpectedly and it's hard to believe it's been 3 years now. Sounds like you have a very wise little boy! Such a sweetheart!

Anonymous said...

Wow, I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry for you and your family. Sounds like Pap was a wonderful guy.
Your dress is lovely. It makes me really want to cut into some sateen. What a gorgeous look. Looks great with the tights as well.
Take care, and big hugs to and yours.

Bec Stitches said...

So Sorry to hear:(
Gorgeous dress

Anonymous said...

Its so hard when you lose someone so quickly and unexpectedly. Your dress turned out wonderful.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry. Isn't it amazing how children can change everything? It's one thing to deal with your own grief, but experiencing theirs too as their mother, I can't even imagine. Take care of one another!

And yes, it's a beautiful dress! Making things is so cathartic, right?

Jamie said...

Thank you, Cari

Jamie said...

Thanks so much, Salma

Jamie said...

Thanks Shannon. It's def difficult dealing with my husband's heartache, I was not prepared!

Jamie said...

Thanks Shelley <3

Jamie said...

Thanks so much. <3 The heartache of my children are what make it really difficult. I feel like they lost some innocence.

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